Principle of Reciprocity

Dear Friend,

Before you continue reading, I want you to have the FREE REPORT that reveals: "21 Powerful Ways To Persuade People To Do What  You  Want".  >>Click Here<<

In this blog, I will discuss one of the principles of persuasion that Robert Cialdini discussed in his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.

The principle that I will discuss is the principle of ....

Reciprocity

Robert Cialdini discussed in the book about the automatic compliance in us humans. He proves this first in presenting how a mother turkey protects her chicks by hearing the sound "cheep" "cheep" that is being made by her chicks. To prove  that there is an automatic response by the mother turkey to the "cheep" "cheep" sound, they made a stuff polecat which is a natural enemy of a turkey. When the mother turkey saw the stuff polecat she immediately become in the attack mode, but when the stuff polecat produced a "cheep" "cheep" sound, of course this was fabricated by the researchers, there was a strange thing that happened. The mother turkey becomes the protector of the stuff polecat. 

 Image by Gerhard Gellinger from Pixabay

Cialdini said that if this is applicable to animals, this is also applicable to humans because we are also a member of the animal kingdom based on science. In 1978, there was an experiment conducted by Ellen Langer at Harvard, she conducted an experiment about the power of the word "because".  She set up people to break in the line waiting to use a busy copy machine on a college campus. She had different specifically worded request:

 Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

1. "Excuse me, I have five (5) pages. May I use the xerox machine?"
2. "Excuse me, I have five (5) pages. May I use the xerox machine, because I have to make copies?
3. "Excuse me, I have five (5) pages. May I use the xerox machine, because I am in a rush?"

The result of compliance were as follows:  1.  60 percent , 2. 94 percent 3. 93 percent , the results showed that there was very little difference to the statement that used "because". They repeated the experiment with twenty (20) pages and the there was an increased result in the real reason. 

Another phenomenon that caught my attention in the book of Cialdini is the technique that applied by Sid and Harry who own a tailor shop. The brothers will have a conversation about the price of the suit the customer liked and Sid will ask Harry about the price of the suit, since they were apart, they were shouting. 

Tailor Shop: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Sid said,"how much is the suit?" In a loud voice

Harry replied in also a loud voice almost screaming; "forty two dollars"

Then Sid will reply; " how much?' still in a load voice.

Harry arrogantly replied; "forty two dollars".

Then Sid said to the customer; "twenty two dollars". 

Then the customer paid quickly the twenty two dollars and leaves the store before the Sid discovered there was a mistake. They do this to avoid price haggling.The target price is also twenty two dollars.

The above mentioned automatic compliance that humans do is like the "cheep" "cheep" sound that the turkey chicks do to have the protection of the mother turkey. And also the stuff polecat that produced sound like the turkey chick is an amazing experiment that proves that there is an automatic response.

Now, back to us human beings. With that in mind that there is an automatic response, in Cialdini's term "compliance", the principle of reciprocity is a potent weapon of influence.

In the book he analyze the technique that was used by the Hare Krishna Society. The Hare Krishna is an Eastern religious sect with centuries old roots traceable to the Indian city of Calcutta. They expanded their reach to the entire globe particularly in America. One of the ways how they raise funds is by asking donations in airport and train terminals from the arrival of people. The Krishnas were having difficulty in raising funds by getting donations this way, by just asking. What they did was offered some flower or book and said "this is a gift for you", of course the flower is the most cost effective gift. Afterwards there was a member in a few steps maybe far from the one that gave the gift and asking a contribution. This is the benefactor-beggar strategy that was successful for Hare krishna. This produced funding of temples, businesses, houses and properties for the Hare Krishna.

Hare Krishna : no copyright infringement is intended

This is how the reciprocity rule works in persuasion. I had the same experience with this. In one of the gasoline stations in our area there were many establishments in the gasoline stations, there were individuals that give key chains in exchange of donations. They expect that they can get more than the value of their key chain. There is a feeling of indebtedness when you get something in advance. Sometimes there was regret in this strategy when the benefactor do not want to donate and feels that there is an unfair exchange.

In the same book of Cialdini, there is also an experiment that conducted by Professor Dennis Regan of Cornell University, the experiment have invited some subject to rate the paintings on art appreciation. Now, the experiment goes like this; the assistant in facilitating the subject in rating the painting goes out and said that he will go back immediately after that he came back he returned with two bottles of Coca-Cola, one for the subject and one for himself. In other cases, the assistant did not bring a bottle of Coca-Cola. Later, after the subject rated the paintings, the assistant indicated that he was selling raffle tickets for a car and if he sold the most tickets he could win a fifty dollar prize. The tickets were prized at twenty five cents apiece and any would help and the more the better. He was successful in selling to the subjects that was given a Coca-Cola and even that the subject that was not given a Coca-Cola buy some tickets the amount of tickets of the subject that was given a Coca-Cola is greater in amount. This is very obvious that they feel in-debt to the assistant the one that gave the larger amount.

An Abstract Painting: Photo by Steve Johnson from Pexels

Businesses are adapting this strategy by giving free samples. This is how the Amway Corporation grows into a multi-billion dollar business. A free sample is an offer that you cannot refuse. Amway representatives leave their prospect some free products in a bag, a set of products like furniture polish, deodorizers, shampoo, insect killers , etc. Then in a certain period of time, the Amway representative will have a visit to the household then inspects what was being used and take an order and probably proposed to try some new products. Actually, personally as a sales professional myself, I used this technique in our air conditioning business, we are giving a free survey and free audit of the air conditioning system of a prospective prospect in our area of business. An offer that cannot be refuse, in having savings in the future by having knowledge of the present condition of their air conditioning equipment.

Image by Michael Tavrionov from Pixabay 

Another strange thing of this reciprocity rule is the unfair exchanges. One example that Cialdini mentioned in the book is a woman having a car that would not  start for the day that she needed the car most and their neighbor offered some help and he made the car start. Now here comes the unfair exchanges came, when the neighbor goes to your door and ask to borrow her car and she feel obligated to comply. Because in some point the neighbor did something that the woman becomes in-debt to the neighbor, and her neighbor totaled her car. How come an intelligent woman agreed to this kind of unfair exchange.

Image by Ich bin dann mal raus hier. from Pixabay 

Now this blog is getting longer but before I close I cannot close without mentioning the principle that is one of my favorite in the reciprocity rule. This is the rejection and retreat technique. The technique is you make your request high enough then retreating in your target request. The example that Cialdini mentioned in the book is the boy scout that sells tickets and he do not want to buy the tickets and the boy scout sell him the two(2) bars of chocolate. And Cialdini realize that this was a reciprocal concession.. Because he did not comply to the first proposal now he is now somehow obligated to comply to the lesser proposal, a retreat proposal. You can see this when somebody ask you a loan, you will notice that they are asking a large loan and then retreat to a lesser amount that they think you can easily afford to lend. Then you are now in compliance to the request. 

So, you must be aware of this reciprocity rules. You can use this and also you can defend your self about this. You can check the whole book of Robert Cialdini's , Influence : The Psychology of Persuasion , through this link...https://amzn.to/2zb8YGd

Regards,

Persuasion Psycho

P.S. Check the FREE REPORT that reveals: "21 Powerful Ways To Persuade People To Do What  You  Want".  >>Click Here<<

Trinity Of Persuasion

Dear Friend,

Before anything else.

I want you to get a copy of the Free Report "21  Powerful Ways To Persuade People To Do What You Want".  Click here to get the report 

Now let us roll!

The Trinity of Persuasion was introduced by Aristotle in his book Rhetoric. This persuasion technique was used in the ancient times and still being used today. This technique is very classic in a sense but for sure this will be very effective in anyone that you want to persuade in the present time and the time that will come. As some marketing guru said, " selling is selling is selling is selling". I would say that, " persuasion is persuasion is persuasion is persuasion". Why is that? Because even that technology change in a second as I write this blog. Human nature will never change. Human nature is the same in the time that our ancestors hunt for food until this time that we have computers is on our palms and when the time comes that your are receiving and replying text messages from the chip in your brain. Got it? I know you do. Ok let us go on.

You can use this persuasion technique in your:

• Marriage
• Date (boyfriend and girlfriend relationship)
• Selling
• Career
• Parenting
• Negotiations
• Business
• Leadership
• many more...

Now let us go to the Trinity of Persuasion in-depth. These are Ethos, Pathos and Logos. As the word trinity implies, your argument or persuasion technique is very strong because of the triangle that is involve in it. Triangle is a very sturdy in its form and you can see this in this persuasion technique.

The Trinity of Persuasion a sturdy triangle
(this picture comes from the screen shot of my
Youtube Channel Persuasion Psycho)
Visit my You Tube Channel here is the link:
https://tinyurl.com/y6vuw94g

Now let me discuss Ethos, Pathos, and Logos: 

1. ETHOS

Ethos is an appeal to authority or credibility of the persuader. Now this is the first step when you apply the trinity of persuasion. You must establish your authority and credibility sometimes  it is coined as believability. This is the first attack that you must be concentrate your full efforts in the persuasion business. 

Imagine two salesmen of an air conditioning company, one is a marketing graduate and the other is a mechanical engineer that have an air conditioning background before getting into the sales arena. Do you see the point of having the high credibility or authority of the mechanical engineer as a salesman of an air conditioning unit. In a glance this is no brainer. The marketing graduate will have a hard time to match the credibility of the mechanical engineer in selling air conditioning units. We are just talking about credibility here.

Here is another example to give you some pumping of blood to your brain. In terms of your cardiovascular results, when you had your check up, which is more believable to read the results? A General Practitioner Doctor or A Cardiologist? Who would you listen to when it comes to your heart? I guess you guess it right? Do you? I know I know you selected the cardiologist to be the one that has the credibility.

Ok! Ok! But the question now is how do you increase you credibility or authority if you want to persuade someone? Below are the tips:

1. Education, Trainings and Experiences - Having additional trainings and seminars attended increases our credibility. Also our education gives us a big credibility. Master of Business Administration (MBA) courses gives credibility to the holder a steroids of credibility not to mention in which school did he took the MBA. 
2. Titles - Titles like Doctor, Attorney,  Engineer,  Professor , etc gives the bearer a strong credibility. It gives a sense or the reality of expertise. An expert is a person that we look up to when things can go wrong. We experience many unpleasant things in life and we want to avoid it. This is the reason we seek experts to avoid the pain of having a mistake.
3. Being an Author - a book or anything that you publish gives you credibility. You can make a pamphlet, a report, a survey, or even a blog like this. (Am I now credible?) Being a author of any subject gives you the credibility and authority in that given subject. The psychology behind it is that what is already written will be embedded in you being. Because you will be committed in what you wrote. You will defend it when it was attack. This psychology gives the author a boost in his credibility in representing a subject.
4. Conduct Seminars or Lectures - there is a guru that said once  in Youtube that " who holds the marker in a seminar gives himself the credibility". In short what he was saying is that who ever that is on the platform and teaches have tremendous credibility. The reason for this is that in our childhood we once experience to be taught and the experience gives us the respect to our teacher or professor that was giving us a lecture. Even you give it for free you will greatly benefit from it. Actually I highly recommend to give seminars or lectures for free, and see how your credibility soar to the rooftop of your house.
5. Be in the TV or in social media - being in the "BOX" or whatever you call it (TV, computer, cellphone etc.). Being seen inside the box gives you great credibility of what you represent. The psychology behind this is that we are all fond of celebrities. Being inside the box gives you celebrity status. Even if you just being interview. It also validates your expertise.
6. Have Studies, Experiments, Surveys and Data at hand- there is a saying " the data cannot tell a lie". Well, this holds true. Imagine in your presentation in selling air conditioning units, you said " according to the Department of Energy, 75% of the consumption of electricity in a building came from air conditioning equipment". Do you see what I mean? You are not getting your statement out of thin air. When you use data in your statements your word have a big weight that cannot be ignored.
7. Associate with authorities - this thing have a tricky part in it. I will just give an example just to get some pumping of blood in your hypothalamus. Hehehe... just busting your balls. Anyway, you could use this by using a similar color of clothes with an authority. For example you are selling security systems you could wear similar color of clothes of the uniform of a policeman in your local area. This gives you an association that you are part of the policemen that protects the community. Another is to wear white clothes similar to a doctor when you sell vitamin supplements. Imagine the credibility that you get. This is a shortcut to the brain if we want to be persuasive.
8. Awards - why do you think celebrities even that they are celebrities crave for an award. They crave for an Oscar award, Emmy award, Grammy award, MTV award, and many more, because they know that when they receive an award they will have more credibility. It adds to them. Awards gives you validation of your capable of doing. Notice this even losers in a contest will have a certain increase in their credibility even they loss a competition. For example a singer in a local bar goes for a national contest even that this talent loss he or she can be assured of a higher pay later on. Much better if this contest is televised and can be seen by many people. The effect of the box (the TV) that I mentioned in no. 5 will have an effect to the singer.

Now those are some of the ways you could boost your credibility, authority and credibility. Ok now let us go to the next side of our triangle...

2. PATHOS

Pathos appeals to the emotions of your audience. This can be achieve by telling some metaphors, stories, passion in the delivery, or in personal anecdotes. This is the second step to achieve in this persuasion technique. You must hit the hot button of your audience. You must hit the Achilles' heel. And the Achilles' heel in us humans is our emotion. If you trigger the emotion you are in your way to move your audience to make some action.To persuade someone you must have the understanding of the human psyche. Humans always make their decisions emotionally. We always act emotional. 

But how about logic? I will discuss that when we start discussing Logos which is logic. For the meantime let us concentrate on Pathos.  Now what are the common emotions that must be hit? 

Here they are:

1. Fear
2. Greed
3. Vanity
4. Lust
5. Pride
6. Envy
7. Laziness

Now let us get the heart of the matter of these emotions.

FEAR

As humans we have many fear that we are thinking all day. And the way we are surviving everyday is the avoidance of these fears. There is fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of being duped, fear of missing an opportunity, fear of physical harm, fear of death, fear of being ridiculed and many others. We will do our best not to experience these fears of us. This is a strong motivator, for example humans will more be moved to the fear of loss than the desire of gain. Here is an example: 

Which will have your attention?

• A meeting at the clubhouse in your community to have 100 dollars at 2 am in the morning or...
• A home burglary at 2 am in the morning

I can guess it right. The second option will move you at 2 am in the morning than the first because of the fear of loss.

Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger , evil , pain, etc.

GREED

"Greed, for the lack of a better word, is good". Heh heh heh.... this is what Gordon Gekko said in the movie Wall Street starred by Charlie Sheen, Michael Douglas and Daryl Hannah. 

We all have our own self interest at heart. We have certain greed in our glands and we can not help it. Whether to amass a fortune or gaining anything material. Some said that greed is experienced by those who have less but one author said that "if I will gather ten (10) billionaires in a room and asked who wants to earn another billion dollars? Surprisingly you will see hands raising."

Greed maybe considered a secondary emotion. For example a person that has insecurities will have a greed to earn more to cover up his insecurities.

VANITY

We all want to look good in the eyes of other people actually even to our own families. Vanity is most common to the obvious narcissist. But all of  us have a degree of vanity in ourselves. We cannot deny it. It is part of human nature that we want to have some sort of validation of our families, friends, and in the society that we are in.

Vanity does not always come with the feeling to be looking good physically like having good looks, having the latest trends of clothes, having a nice house or having the latest Tesla car. Vanity also works in having great skill that others do not have, like able to speak a foreign language, having a special skill like cooking and many other things that are special to people.

LUST

Lust is a psychological force that produce intense desire, according to Wikipedia. There are many form of lust, lust for sex, lust for power, lust for food, lust for love, and many others. This is in our nature. I am not relating lust to be bad, well in a sense it is bad. I am just presenting this that is a trigger to see, if you want to persuade. Let me give an example.

Suppose that you are selling chocolates. Chocolates are not good for health, I am talking about the commercial chocolates (with sugar, milk ,etc.). Well if you take excessively. But who doesn't take excessive chocolates when it is available? Got the point?  Because it is sweet and can developed diabetes in some individuals.But you will present it as a mouth watering product. I think you got the point in how you will utilize lust for chocolates to sell it. Sure? You got it? Yes ? I know you do. 

That is also how you do it to persuade a person having this trigger of lust.

PRIDE

Pride alone have many definitions, even Wikipedia describe many definitions. But we will stick what Aristotle defines Pride. Pride is being proud of great things that you are worthy of. Great here depends on the person. Let me give an example. A father who could send his children to school have a pride when his children finished secondary education. This is pride to the father, for him it is great pride. For others it is nothing. Get it? Some have pride for their country. They only buy products that are made by their country. So, if you have a community of Japanese in your area, Japanese are known to buy mostly made in Japan products even if they stay in other countries. It is wise to have to import Japanese made products that are consumable to sell them and profit from it. 

The next time in having a conversation, find something that the other person is being proud of. Or shall I say have pride.

ENVY

Aristotle defined envy as pain at the sight of another’s good fortune. This is a bad when viewed in the bad light. But envy can be used in a positive note. Like propelling yourself to achieve success by seeing the success of others. Nevertheless, good or bad, you can use envy to persuade others to your liking. Remember the saying "keeping up with the Joneses". For example you are a swimming pool contractor, and you see that there are other families that made their swimming pools and others were your clients. You could say that you are the only family in the neighborhood that have no swimming pool if this is a fact. Trust me even that they do not want a swimming pool. They are inclined to go your way. 

Another example is when you are selling an exclusive school to the parents and if the neighborhood mostly their children goes to an exclusive school they are again inclined to go your way. Actially the envy is in them and they had thought about it and they are just waiting for a trigger. Then here you comes with the right timing pulling the trigger for them.

LAZINESS

Well this makes me do not want to write anymore...I am lazy. Who can sell me a Private Label Rights article or who can ghost write for me for this blog. Got the point already? Of course you do. 

So you can tap the natural tendencies of any human to be lazy. Laziness in a sense to improve the way of life. This is how new technologies or new systems are being sold. Laziness to visit someone, laziness to wash your clothes, laziness to make your food and many more laziness. Well business thrive because we are lazy. Is that right? Hehehe...come on guys. We all want some shortcuts to everything that we do. We are always fascinated on how others are doing difficult stuff in an easy way. That is why life hacks in YouTube videos get millions of views. 

I do not want to elaborate more in this emotional trigger. Let us go to....

3. LOGOS

Logos is logic. This is how to decide by logical arguments. In persuading someone using Logos you must have data and the data must be favorable to what you represent. For example, you are a salesman of a home filtration system. What data can you present to have a favorable decision inclined to you? You can present data of random samples of the quality of water in your area. You can present present crime rate in your area, because if you have your own filtration system you will not entertain delivery of water to your house. A safety concern, a fear of loss. You can use Logos by presenting pictures, pictures of how bad is the sanitation of water filtration stations in the area can be presented. Logos can be presented through literature, for example a new research that it is much more cheaper to filter your own water. In short Logos are evidences to arrive in a logical conclusion

So this is how logical arguments can be presented. Also Logos is the closing for you to seal the trinity of persuasion. This will be the justifying factor to make a decision, Ethos is Ok, You hit Pathos, Logos will bring the home run. Ok let me explain this in a ....

SUMMARY

In this summary, I will present how the trinity of persuasion works hand in hand to have a very strong and rigid persuasive argument like a triangle that is rigid. Here are some examples:

1. Suppose you are an employee and you want to present to your boss that in the last five years you contributed to the company's growth and you deserve a raise.

Ethos: You get all the data that the company have growth in the past five years and how you had been a part of it.You are credible because you have a data and not saying something from air.

Pathos: You will present to your boss that if you had given a raise you will be motivated and can assume more responsibilities to produce more in the next couple of years. Your boss will be triggered by the pride of giving more to his family by the result that you can give.

Logos: You will present projection data that shows with your involvement and more responsibility you could produce more for the company and it it is actually a bargain to raise your salary. This will be the deciding factor and the justification.

       

      2. This is a somewhat exaggerated example, but just for the purpose of presenting the trinity working and to be embedded this to your skull. Suppose that your child wants a Jordan shoes and you said you cannot afford it because you are saving money for a house. Now see how this can be presented by your kid using the trinity.

Your child replied in a conversation, " Father if I can play like Michael Jordan, I can enter the NBA and earn big money, I could buy you a house". This is exaggerated stuff but see how this works.

Ethos: Michael Jordan, there is no other than MJ that is more credible in terms of basketball in my opinion. Many championship rings, An actor, commercial model, now a Billionaire.

Pathos: Providing your child a shoes that he like is being a good father, even more when you are saving money to buy a house for your family.

Logos: Entering the NBA means money in the bank and this could lead you having a house, logical, no brainer.

So, these are just two (2) examples you can work the third example in the example that I presented in the home water filtration system. Try it! Apply it. See how the trinity works.

Cheers!!

Yours Truly,

Persuasion Psycho


P.S. If you want to know more about persuasion request the FREE REPORT: "21 Powerful Ways To Persuade People To Do What You Want". Click Here.